As I’m writing this,
I remember breaking down in the family room of my home, promising my wife that I was done drinking, but honestly not knowing at the same time how I would be able to quit once and for all. You see what started as what I thought was a regular drinking routine, quickly spiraled into full blown addiction and alcoholism. I had graduated from drinking after I got off work to having a drink before I started my day. I was spiraling fast.
Several things were at play I believe that led me to becoming an alcoholic. For one, my father was a lifelong alcoholic to the point that when he was finally able to quit, he landed himself in hospice, his body not able to sustain sobriety without prolonged medical assistance. I watched addiction creep into some of my siblings, but never thought it would impact me. Little did I know how much I was impacted until it had an opportunity to manifest what was festering inside.
The next thing I should mention is that this was around the time of the pandemic. Enviromental stress is the leading cause of depression and it was in this season that I was working 16 hour shifts in a warehouse being deemed an essential worker. I was happy to be working while all the jobs around me seemed to be closing down, but the work was miserable. Back breaking to say the least and everyone around me seemed to have some sort of addiction or another. To this day I tell people, I never saw a sober person on the floor in that place and before I knew it I was just like them.
Lunch breaks to the liquor store progressed to drinking a shot on my fifteen minute break. This was the culture. Everyone including me were depressed during the pandemic and working in that environment and it trickled into many of our home lives. I started drinking a few shots and a beer most days before going to work because my body hit and I worked in the cold. Also, ultimately I knew no one would say anything because everyone else was drunk or high off of something.
I was sinking fast to the point that when I did have enough desire in the moment to not have a drink, my body put to much pressure on my mind. I would begin to shake, nerves on edge, headaches and cold sweats. My body was use to its daily alcohol intake, it had happened. I became an alcoholic and I could no longer be in denial. I remember no worse of a feeling. I had a reached the point that even if I did want to quit, I could not do it alone.
This was all over three years ago, but I still remember how my body felt and what was going through my mind. My body felt sick and hurt, but I had support that my family had sought out as well to help me take those first steps into sobriety. I needed a doctor to assist me in care. I needed a nurse to monitor me during those first moments. I needed the support of the team around me to make sure that once I made it out of those initial stages that I kept going. For me it took support.
Those first steps of my sobriety journey marked the beginning of a new life for me. It was me deciding that I was letting go of all that was destroying me and my family. Alchohol was the poison that had seeped in, but I had enough desire in me to change that I chose to detox. I understood that for me to have a new life I had to take those initial difficult steps into sobriety. I also knew I needed support while learning to walk again so to say.
If you or a loved one needs help taking those first steps into sobriety, contact us today by calling 818-488-1575
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Many of us have been where you have or your loved one may have been and we understand the type of support that is needed. Don’t wait until it’s too late, start your journey today.
